Xiaobing Xuanzhou City, Anhui Province
“That which you are enjoying today is the very thing which is ruining your future, whereas the pain you are suffering today is the very thing that is protecting you. You must be clearly aware of that so as to keep away from the hook of temptation and to avoid entering the dense fog that blocks out the sun.” Every time I sing this song of God’s word “Enjoying Fleshly Comforts Will Ruin Your Future,” I think of time after time when I tested and betrayed God, and I feel both endless remorse and incredible gratitude.
In 1997, I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days, and before long I had enthusiastically thrown myself into the work of spreading the gospel and had set my determination that in front of God, I would expend myself for Him without constraints in order to satisfy His heart. But as God’s work changed, when God’s work was not in line with my own conceptions and my desires were not fulfilled, my “devotion” to God then disappeared without a trace and my nature of betraying God was fully exposed.
There was one day in 1999 when I was returning home after a trip to carry out my duty, and I ran into an old classmate who I hadn’t seen in years. I saw his suit and tie, his cellphone—head to toe, he looked very well-off. I was incredibly envious; by contrast, I looked so shabby. A few days later, something my grandmother said once again hit that sore spot: “You’re not working and earning money now—aren’t you holding yourself back? Who would think anything of you without money? Look at your classmate, going out and earning so much money, buying all sorts of things … but what about you? You have nothing!” Suddenly, I envisioned that particular air my classmate had. I felt miserable and really wanted to crawl into a little hole! Then my grandmother said: “The hanging scroll factory your uncle runs happens to need people and he wanted you to work there.” I blurted out: “Okay! I’ll go!” That night, I lay awake tossing and turning, racked by these thoughts: Am I really going to earn money? What if I fall into temptation and can’t extricate myself? But because of my own vanity and the enticement of money as well as an actual predicament, I began to doubt God’s words. I thought: It can’t be that earning a little money will make it hard for me to extricate myself. … After a struggle, I was still unable to resist the temptation of money, so I comforted myself with this: “It doesn’t matter; after I’ve earned a little money and changed the situation, I’ll definitely put everything into fulfilling my duty. I won’t be like worldly people who can never get enough money.” So, the next day I went to the hanging scroll factory.
